There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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