my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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