I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
