So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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