Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
