one two three fourrrrnication!
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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