This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
