your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
