Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
