margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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