He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
