but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
