found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize