I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
