I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
