i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
