i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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