I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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