He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
