guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
