Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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