Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
