Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize