i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
