So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
try to milk me bitch
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