i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Girls should come with a carfax report
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
