I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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