You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize