Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
