We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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