it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
