Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
