therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
