She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
