He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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