do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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