my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
