I am puke
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
