we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
