I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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