so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
