Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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