somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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