Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
