see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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