I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We are two peas in an std pod
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
