I am in a vortex of obligation.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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