Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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