Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
