Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
