There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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