Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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